The Waiting Game

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Patience is not one of my greatest strengths.  If you've ever seen the marshmallow test, you know that I would have been one of the kids stuffing the marshmallow in her mouth the minute the researcher left the room (even though I'm not particularly fond of raw marshmallows).
Once I have a goal in mind, I want to start working on it. I'm not good at waiting for the gun to go off or the green light or the okay. Which is why this season of fundraising for BFA has been so difficult.  I've sent out the letters, followed up on the emails, made the phone calls, organized the meetings, etc. And now I wait.
I can't write the checks. I can't make the financial decisions. I can't vote on the missions committees.  All I can do is wait and pray.
As August 9th approaches and my support level stays relatively stagnant, it's hard not to get antsy and stressed.  It's hard to wait on the Lord when I want to get things done.  But every time I try to take charge; every time I try to figure this out on my own or look for a Plan B, He reminds me that there is nothing I can do.
Even as I grow restless, He proves time and again that He is faithful through His Word, encouragement from friends, unexpected donors, and a hundred other undeserved blessings.
And so I'm trying to be patient.  I'm learning to pray big prayers and believe in an unexpected God.  And maybe soon I'll be able to say like the psalmist:

I wait for the LORD, my soul waits,

and in his word I hope; 

my soul waits for the Lord

more than watchman for the morning,

more than watchman for the morning. 

Psalm 130: 5-6

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