I hate unpacking.
I put it off as long as possible. It drives my family crazy. My friend Beth thinks it's hilarious the lengths I will go to avoid it. It's been almost a month since graduation and I have suitcases and boxes that are still left to unpack.
As I begin to put things back at a glacial pace, I've run into the problem that I don't have room for everything, even after I've donated and thrown out most of it.
When I was going through things to be given away or tossed I began to wonder why I had so much junk in my drawers, shelves, and closets and I realized, I have a lot of "Plan B" stuff.
I have those old t-shirts and jeans that don't fit
just in case I run out of laundry. I have that third grade book report
just in case I become a teacher one day and need an idea for a project assignment. I have those old paints and bits of ribbons
just in case I find an awesome craft that only needs a tiny bit of acrylic paint and sparkly wedding ribbon.
While I'm not at a hoarding level, I've been holding on to a lot of useless stuff
just in case.
Someone (sorry, I can't remember who) once told me that the tighter we hold on to Plan B, the less we trust God. Just like I hold onto my 1st grade school spirit t-shirt for emergency situations, I hold on to my backup plans just in case God doesn't come through.
Last summer my friend Julie and I were talking about how little we (or at least I) trust God. I believe that he
CAN do what he says, but I don't always believe that he
WILL. I hide behind the excuse, "well, maybe it's just not his will" to explain why I've come up with alternate plans in the event that he doesn't fulfill his promises.
The thing about Black Forest Academy is there is no "Plan B". There is no way that I can do this on my own. There's no back up plan if the funds don't come in; there's no secret plan to raise the rest of my support in the next month. This all has to be God and his timing.
It's hard to be in a situation where there's no easy, human fix. Most days I vacillate between trusting that God will do what he's promised and scared that maybe the support won't come in.
But ultimately Plan B is not an option, and this is just another step in this terrifying, glorious adventure.
He who calls you is faithful.
I Thessalonians 5:24a